Embracing my husbands sweatpants

As a mom I spend a lot of time comparing my family and self to others. Not in an “I’m better” or “I’m worse” but in an “Is this shit normal?” sort of way. And truth be told I do sometimes find myself falling down that rabbit hole of “Am I the only one who didn’t brush their teeth this morning?” comparison. 

See we live in a great town with awesome moms who rock the lulu and always have great hair. And often times I’m just looking like a rock, found under some dirt that could use a few more hours of sleep.

To be honest for a while I let myself feel horrible about it. I let myself feel like I didn’t belong. I let my bank account get a little too low trying to keep up with the Joneses.

Then few months ago something happened. I was at an all time low. I hated everything about myself and thought I was a horrible mom and an even worse wife. I weighted almost as much as when I was pregnant and couldn’t lose the weight no matter “how hard I tried” It wasn’t that hard of a try to be truthful.

None of my pants fit but I refused to buy anything bigger than a large. So one day with laundry backed up and nothing else to ware I put on a pair of my husbands sweatpants. I stood there looking at my body, the stretch marks from two children, the scars for surgeries, the pale skin tone from lack of sun. And I stood there. In my skin. For the first time actually thinking about myself and my being. Was this my “perfect body”? Was this where I was happiest? 

I knew it wasn’t. But it still was my body and myself. Then a little voice from when I was young and stupid piped up. “It’s not the  best or the worst of anything until you’re done.”

It was something I had embraced when I was working through some depression when I was young. It means there’s always time to improve or change. So standing there I embraced my husbands sweatpants and thought “No, this isn’t the best me. But this is me and that’s enough for today.” I got so much laundry done. Didn’t put any of it away but hey whatever.

It’s funny what a change in view can do for you. Shortly after that moment I started back up with hot yoga. Not to lose weight but to have something that was mine and for me to enjoy with no other strings attached. I found myself buying better foods at the grocery store. Meal prepping became easier. And I stopped stepping on the scale. I let go of the ideas I wasn’t good enough, that I had to change to be better. I wanted to feel better so I decided to. I’m thankful I was able to decide that.

I also started talking to other moms about how I was feeling. Being honest with myself and them. You know what I found out? We all have our scars, our weight we carry, and if you brushed your teeth at noon, you still brushed your teeth. And a coffee meet up can always help.

So today take a moment and sit in your skin. How do you feel? Why do you feel that way? Leave an honest note so we all know we’re no alone.

I tried a meal delivery service: Here’s what happened…and what got broke…

Truth time for minute. I love to cook, but I don’t always love cooking every meal every day. So when Green Chef said they would send me a box of organic fresh ready to cook food, well heck yeah I jumped at the chance.

Continue reading

It doesn’t take a village to raise a child.

It’s almost the end of what, I think, everyone can agree was a pretty rough year. 2016 will go down as the year I said “is it over?” more times then I care to admit. We’ve been through a lot this year. Stress, loss, unnecessary ER visits and personal struggles.  One day when I was thinking about listing the kids on Esty (cause, hey I made them, it counts.) A friend said to me “It takes a village to raise a child.” Continue reading

Does this even matter?

I have to write a review about these books got from Moms Meet for free. They are sitting here in front of me. They’re all shiny and happy. They have action figures and bold colors. Nelson Mandela is throwing his fist in the air with a smile on the cover. And yet the only thing I can see is the tab on my computer with the head line of the latest craziness to hit FB or CNN. Cause we all know their the same thing these days. Crazy head lines about crazy things that make me want to hide a bit from this world.

I’m starring at the titles. “The Book of HEROES” “The Book Of HEROINES” I wish I could pull some of these people from the pages and set them free. We could use a few more heroes these days. But where do heroes (and for me that means heroines too) come from? They are the men and women who faced the challenges of their time to better the lives of those around them. These books have many such people in their pages. Some are from fiction like Luke Skywalker, but most are real. Like the Trung Sisters or Witold Pilecki.

These books are designed for kids to want to look at. One page stories about men and women who have done some crazy and not so crazy stuff. Each chapter is broken down into different categories. Action heroes, great minds, heroes for hire (think firemen and police), leading men and leading ladies. Leading Men starts with Barak Obama. Full color, full page smiling photo. And then the opening sentence. “Not every leader is a hero, and not every hero is a leader. Both possess a specific set of qualities – charm, courage, quick thinking, humility – that rarely combine in a single individual.”

I worry about our leaders, I worry about our heroes. Do they have these qualities? I’m not so sure sometimes. I have two sons. The Bears. They will not know the hardship that some others will face. They are luck to have been born in the US. To have been born white. To have been born men. They are the voices that most will listen to. They will not have to fight as hard as others for their cause. At 2 and 5 their cause is pizza for dinner every night. But what will their cause be at 20, at 30? Will they use their voices for those around them? I hope so.

What can I do for them to lead them in the right direction? It seems small, but I will leave these books out. I will leave them open to different heroes. I will show them charm, courage, quick thinking, and humility. No these book will not save the world, but they may help show us a better one. Does this matter? I think it does, because we, the parents of the next generation, need to show them better then we have been.


I received this product for free from Moms Meet (momsmeet.com), May Media Group LLC, who received it directly from the manufacturer. As a Moms Meet blogger, I agree to use this product and post my honest opinion on my blog. The opinions posted are my own. This post contains affiliate links.

Review of SAN-j soy sauce. 

I received this product for free from Moms Meet (momsmeet.com), May Media Group LLC, who received it directly from the manufacturer. As a Moms Meet blogger, I agree to use this product and post my honest opinion on my blog. The opinions posted are my own.
I love a good meal. Food is a huge part of our life. The boys are getting more active and into everything so a simple good meal is best. Stir fry is always a winner in the house. So when I got a chance to try SAN-j spy sauce I was thrilled to break out the wok. 

I love when I can read the ingredients! So here’s the simple straight forward review. I liked being able to just take some meat and throw a good sauce on it.the flavor was mild but rich. And being gluten free was a plus for me. It’s also certified organic and GMO free. I enjoyed cooking and eating this meal. I’ll be making sure SAN-j is in the pantry from not on!

So take a pack of stir fry meat and a bag of precut veggies and throw it all together. Top it with SAN-j soy sauce and enjoy a super easy super awesome meal!!

The tooth the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth! 

Recently I decided that I wasn’t happy with my normal oral hygiene care. I mean I never really thought about it. Since I was little it was wake up brush, get ready for bed, brush. (There was stuff in between but that’s for another post) Then one day I stopped and thought was there something better? I mean Colgate never did anything wrong by me. They seem nice enough. Like I would strick up a convo at the office party but I don’t think we would go out for coffee. 

So when I was given a chance to try Himalaya toothpaste for free from MomsMeet I figured it was a good time for a change. Here the lowdown on Himalaya Toothpaste:

  •  Himalaya Botanique Complete Care Toothpaste uses an invigorating blend of Neem, Pomegranate, Triphala and Xylitol to leave your mouth feeling fresh.
    » Neem leaf, harvested from the ‘worlds most researched tree’ is history’s original housekeeper and works to keep the mouth clean.
  • Pomegranate is an astringent fruit extract that helps support healthy looking gums by tightening the tissues.
  • Triphala is a traditional detox formula in ancient Ayurveda composed of the three myrobalan fruits for clean teeth and a radiant smile.
  • Not only is Xylitol a tooth-friendly sweetener, but it has also been clinically-studied to support good oral hygiene. 
  • With regular brushing, this herbal formulation helps remove plaque, supports healthy-looking gums and maintains white teeth. 
  • Himalaya Botanique Whitening Complete Care Toothpaste contains Papain and Bromelain, the enzymes from papaya and pineapple, to help remove surface stains. 
  • Himalaya Botanique Complete Care Toothpaste is Carrageenan Free, SLS Free, Gluten Free, and Fluoride Free.

So I switched it. Hubs only noticed cause it looked different. We enjoyed the taste and noticed it wasn’t as sweet. Personally I really liked that and will be picking this brand up from now on.

* I received this product for free from Moms Meet (momsmeet.com), May Media Group LLC, who received it directly from the manufacturer. As a Moms Meet blogger, I agree to use this product and post my honest opinion on my blog. The opinions posted are my own.

prAna mama: I got to try new clothes on! And you can too! WIN MY PRANA OUTFIT #MomsMeet #MMLovesprAna

So here’s the deal. I think the last time I bought myself new clothes, like respectable go out and be seen clothes, I didn’t have kids. So when Moms Meet offered me a chance to try and review prAna pants and tops for free? Well I’ve never hit reply so fast. Now these are new clothes for their fall line. I got to try on Kara Jeans in indigo and Gemma Sweater in Vintage Blue. Both in my fav colors. So excited!  Continue reading

We’re late! Sorry, I’m not sorry.

If you have children or children like people in your life, you might have experienced what I like to call “GET YOUR SHOES ON NOW!! running late”. That moment when you question why you are even leaving the house. Because as you pin down one child who decided that right before you walk out the door is the best time to do a stinky, you realize for some reason your other child has removed his shoes and he has forgotten how to put them back on. Even though you watched him do it 5 minutes ago. Like 5 minutes ago. Real time. That knowledge is now, somehow, gone. Continue reading

Presto Pesto: Easy pesto recipe from the garden

As the summer starts to wind down, I’m finding myself with a lot of herbs just waiting to be frozen or used in some imaginative way. The parsley I planted is almost as over run as the mint. The basil made a huge come back after “the bug” incident. Yeah natural pesticides. So I decided to try a new(ish) take on pesto. Continue reading

How to deal with tough sleepers

I love to sleep. That moment when my head hits the pillow and I know my day is done. I can just let go of those worrisome thoughts and turn off my brain. For a full 5 min. Because then I remember everything I forgot that day or some little person wakes up and needs a drink of water but really need to go the bathroom. We had a horrible stretch with Bear where he thought it was fun to stay up from 12am-4am talking about why the sun wasn’t up. I learned fast that kids need sleep as much as adults. And adults need kids to sleep unless they have a great coffee supplier. Continue reading